im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
