i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You pole danced in your parka.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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