Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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