Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
