Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can feel your judgement through the phone
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
