Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
