i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
