oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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