Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
