Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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