its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she pinky promised me she was 18
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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