Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
