the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
