I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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