i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
