my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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