I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was confusing and full of hummus
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize