Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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