I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
