my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize