I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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