No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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