You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
