I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
