shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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