I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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