i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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