just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
