any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
