I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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