dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
