the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize