When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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