Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
