What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So vagazzling was a success
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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