laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
