Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
