so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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