I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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