i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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