So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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