All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
