We're facebook friends in real life
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
