and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
