so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
