508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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