I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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