Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I still have a little drunk in my system
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
