yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
