u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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