I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
