I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
