i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
