Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
