...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
