So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The uberlube is also flammable
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
