I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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