He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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