Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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